An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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