both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
