then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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