Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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