How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
