His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
