i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
