Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
