so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
