help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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