she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
