Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
