I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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