i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
