they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
