Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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