Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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