Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
