I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
