giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
