Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
