I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
