What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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