We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
