dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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