This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I need water and some morals
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
