I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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