careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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