bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
