so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
