Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
