Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
