that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
