you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
