I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
