we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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