Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
