I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
