I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
