STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
