i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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