RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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