don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Holy shit dude........stairs
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