All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
