its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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