when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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