On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
