I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
