Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
