Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
