She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
