if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
