So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
