you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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